you can go home again

i went to church with my dad on sunday
in honor of mom's birthday.
bird and her hunter hubby were there too.

it was the first time i had been back
to my home church since mom's funeral. 
wasn't sure how my heart would behave.
 i made it through the first song tear-free,
until i saw birds red eyes.

the hardest to sing were the words
"my chains are gone,
i've been set free,
my god my savior
has ransomed me.
and like a flood His mercy reigns
unending love, amazing grace." 

it took me back to the day mom died.
the suffering she had,
and eventually the peace.
her broken body was set free in january.
and now her spirit soars.

 
one of the best parts of my time in my 
old home church were the comments.
" you look just like your mom"
"more and more you look like your mom"

to which i always smile big and say
"thank you." 
that's an honor for me.
(gray hair, double chin and all.)
i hope it makes them feel as good
as it does me.  


they had a visiting minister since theirs was away.
lucky me, it was a man who had pastored 
there when i was growing up.
was great to see him and his wife.
plus it was good to be in a place where
the people had know mom longer than i did.they loved her deeply
so i know they miss her too.

one sweet long-time-family-friend,
Jackie, said to me with eyes glistening,
" every once in awhile your sister will
say "amen", and i hear your mom." 

we gave mom a garden bouquet.
just some zinnias, black-eyed susans,
and a smattering of roses.
colorful, cheery, and so mom-like.
and yes, we do this for us.
to honor our flower loving mom.
daddy had his hanky out a few times,
and he asked us,
"how old is she?"
"80 pops."
he crumpled a bit,"oh my".

to lighten things we commented
" and you've probably known her since she
was 17 right?"
" no, she was 16".
 oh my

that's a really long time to love.
i'm glad he did.