it was a bumpy ride...

nope, we didn't take a physical trip
but an emotional one.
rather i took it.

with the holiday season approaching and
plans up in the air for turkey time
this thought crept? (hah!)
no more like stomped and stormed in.
" how is it going to be without mom?"
and then my heart cracked open...
wide.
bleh.
grieving is just not a fun ride for anyone.
i had a very rough couple of weeks.
my heart was broken, again,
and my body was physically staging 
it's own wars and misbehaving.  

however, 
it's not like we didn't have offers
of places to go, people to see.
we did.
brown-eyed-handsome-man and i had several options.
but we really just wanted to stay home.
and i began to mentally prepare for the day.
no big dinner to fix.
b.e.h.man suggested chicken pot pie
and i got on board with that.
that way i could watch the parade on tv more!

although we didn't eat quite so simply.
one of our options was inviting my
sweet-mom-in-love and 
hubby's youngest brother to join us.
fortunatly they were able to come.
i cooked the traditional dinner.
they brought the pie and cranberry jello salad.

it was a nice peaceful time with just the four of us.
was delightful to listen to 'mom' tell some of 
her memories of dust-bowl-day living.    
i still marvel at all those who persevered,
hubby's and my grandparents among them.

my heart was no longer broken .
just full of love and thankfulness for many things.

i was blessed by 2 event's prior to thursday.
1. when watering my roses i discovered
the rose bush of moms i transplanted was leafing out.
it had died completely back this summer. 
i thought it might be gone for good.
nope, maybe i couldn't see it, 
but it was still there.
just like my sweet momma.
i can't see her, but she's still such 
a presence in my life.   

2. wednesday evening the animated movie 
pocahantes was on tv.
mom LOVED that movie.
especially the music.
i have sweet memories of a long car trip
to california that she and i took.
sometimes the radio was boring
so we listened to her cassette of that music.
we would crank it up loud and sing!
fun to do then and fun to remember now. 

thanksgiving 2012 was a good day for me.
and i am very thankful to say although 
the approach to it was very bumpy...
it was a sweet and gentle landing. 
thanks be to God.