just say what you really mean

extra busy this week.
dear ol' dad had out-of-town doctor appointment.
darling delightful aunti had the same.
well not the same doctor,
but out-of-town appointment. 

dad's appointment is at 11,
doctors office a 40 minute drive.
me: " what time do you want to leave?"
dad: "10:15"
me: "sounds good."

9:30 dad's dressed.

"we have to leave soon" he said
to his pajama-clad-just-finished
vaccuming-his-house-daughter.
me: " i'll be ready".

9:55 he puts on his coat.
10:01 "the train leaves the station".
i drive under the speed limit.
we arrive 17 minutes early.
dad: "well we have some extra time."
my mind chuckles,
my mouth speaks 
"we might as well go in"

***

day #2 of the doctor tour.
my aunt's appointment is at 10.
it's a one hour drive.
me: "what time do you want to leave?"
she: "how about you pick me up at 8:30"
me: " no problem."
that means i need to leave my house at 8.

7:45 a.m my phone rings.
me: "good morning darling aunti!"
we share a few seconds of chit chat.
she: "i'm ready to get to this appointment"
me: "i'll be leaving in 5 minutes."

8:20 i pick up this cutie-pie.
9:15 we are close to the destination
she: "we didn't need to leave quite so early,
i guess."
my mind chuckles
my mouth speaks 
"well, this way we built-in time for 
whatever."

9:32 a.m. we are in town.
doctors office is 3 minutes away.
she: "oh my. i should remember you can get us
here in an hour." 

so... 
the whatever happens;
we go to the shoe store and shop!    

 
  
        
 
           
  

simply praying

I've proven it ...again...
Eggs will not cook unless the burner is turned on! 

And here I go...
day #2 of senior citizen doctor run. 
Different citizen, 
different doctor, 
same 'runner'.

she who can't remember to turn on the stove... 
is entrusted with these precious people. 

Lord help us all. 
amen.

sing with all the voices...

she loved the Indians.

was fascinated by their history,

customs, medicines and tenacity.

we studied many Indian exhibits in museums and

went to their dwelling places.

she even supported some Indian ministries

and proudly wore their jewelry.

there were books on Indian history to be read,

i can still “see” the artistic drawing of

an Indian with a snake hanging out of its mouth.

*shudder*

Indian stories were told.

dad collected arrowheads,

we played cowboys and Indians.

it’s just how life was on our farm.

with her love of all humanity

is it any wonder her response one day.

while on vacation at a small town café?

not at all.

she refused to eat.

well actually she refused to even order

and sat at our table very stone faced

not talking.

i was quite young and didn’t understand

why mom wouldn’t eat.

later she told me what she saw and

how this was the only way she could express her

feelings without embarrassing others.

you see

there in the middle of the cafe'

a family was not being waited on.

they were being completely ignored.

they may have been Indian.

or not.

regardless,

mom was not fond of inequality

for anyone.

when the movie Pocahantas

came out she was excited.

being a lover of history and music,

she was hoping it would be good.

sure enough, she wasn’t disappointed.

she loved it so much she even bought

a cassette tape of the music.

she knew the words

she sang the songs.

she loved Grandmother Willow and the wisdom she

shared....

“listen with your heart, you will understand.”

mom even confided that she sometimes

imagined herself as grandmother willow

to her grand kids.

in many ways she was. 

in 2006 mom and I drove to

Nevada and California to visit her

sisters and some cousins.

we had lots of quality car time.

lots of car time where there were no

radio stations to be found.

so we popped in the pocahantas cassette

ready to enjoy. 

rum pa pa pum pum

rum pa pa pum pum

the steering wheel became our beating drum.

our need to participate fully in the songs was strong.

the music was inspiring,

we couldn't hold still.

i was mildly amused when one song came on

and momma said

“when I’m by myself, i crank the sound up.” 

so we did.

oh yes!

that’s the best way to enjoy that song!

my heart soared to be singing with my beloved momma.

our voices blending with our hearts

singing for all we were worth.

sometimes even putting it on repeat

so we could soar and sing to our hearts release.

two ladies zipping down the endless freeways

in momma’s silver lincoln town car letting our spirits fly.

bliss then,

bliss now... in remembering.

i chuckle because one zipping-down-a

California highway moms youngest sister

was held hostage in the backseat.

or I’m sure she felt that way at times.

we were taking her home

and she was subjected to our loud

appreciation of the music.

sweet sweet memories.

even when aunt Lynnie exclaimed

“do we HAVE to listen to that again?”

so we gave the tape a reprieve until

we dropped her off in Nevada.

besides

Arizona and New Mexico gave us

sufficient roads for more “music

appreciation” on our homeward journey.

for Christmas this year brown-eyed-handsome

man gave me the soundtrack cd to pocahantas.

it’s taken me a bit to be ready to listen to it.

yesterday I popped it in.

memories of happiness and fun flooded my heart.

even when tears coursed down my face,

even when I howled once or twice like

the wolf to the blue corn moon.

i didn’t howl long 

because the sweetness of the memories.

and the love I was blessed with. 

the message of this song

describes very well mom’s attitude about

life and the earth. 

pop over to this site,

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkV-of_eN2w

crank up your sound

and sing with all the voices...