how did you bring in 2012?

ce..le..brate good times! 
come on!
bah dah dah dah 
dah! dah! dah! dah!

11 pm-ish. Saturday, December 31st.
I'm relaxed on a couch,
playing angry birds on my tablet.
The room is peaceful,
only the Christmas lights gleem.
Just me and.....half a dozen nurses,
aides, and a care home full of 
sleeping residents.
okay..not all of them were sleeping..
especially one in particular.
Momma.
And because she was awake,
so were Daddy and I. 


Late in the afternoon she had a BAD spell.
Heart rate elevated, rapid breathing,
low blood pressure, anxious....
All that scarey stuff.

Several phone calls and this daughters 
heart could no longer stay at home.
Brown-eyed-handsome man drove me over.

Mom had calmed down, 
all systems were as normal as possible,
kind of.
Daddy wanted to stay until midnight, 
then maybe go home.
okay, we stayed.
but after Momma said
" I'm sorry guys, but this may take all night."
Daddy assured her we weren't going anywhere.
He stayed by her beside in the recliner,
dozing very rarely.
I was up and down the halls,
checking on the folks, 
laying on a sofa, in the chapel,
or chatting with the night crew.
They are AMAZING.
:-)


By 5:30-6 am. I knew she was gonna be fine.
Or as fine as she can be.
But Daddy wouldn't leave until 
sister-bird arrived for the second shift.

Even though physically Mom has settled down,
there is still confusion.
It's not all the time and you need to
hang out with her for 30-60 minutes to become aware.
I shared several stories with the different care givers
so they would know. 


I'll tell you one...maybe two.
Because she had been so full of anxiety and 
had all those scarey signs... hospice suggested
using the anti-anxiety cream.
they had to increase the dosage.
she was also given a pain pill,
and her sleeping pill.
eventually all those became effective but
she was still awake.
sigh.
then her nose was stopped up.
she dug around in there, 
gross i know, oh well.
at least it helped.
and then I offered her mentholatum.
"YES"
that seemed to do the trick.
for an hour.
when the nurse would give the anti-anxiety
cream, mom would dose her nose.
Finally around 4 a.m. she settled down 
and slept. 
I did too.
At 6:30 we are all awake.
Mom comes to a conclusion saying,
" we need to remember.
all that stuff they did last night...
and all i really needed was mentholatum.
that is what helped me breath."

WHAT!!!
mentholatum!
I'm sure it's what regulated her b/p,
heart rate, etc.
or not.
but in mom's mind it did. 

I felt it my duty to not negate
the hard working staff and other previously 
mentioned measures, so mentioned 
them to her.


Okay...maybe.


I just want you to know she still 
is fond of her mentholatum.
and that's fine.

My favorite story is one she told 
sister bird.
" I'm using a nasal spray. 
it's going up into my brain and killing 
the tumors."


sure..why not. 


my  brown-eyed-handsome man
became mom's favorite son-in-love today.
he re-arranged her room and got the tv set up.
As it was programming she got excited.
"oh..this is so good."
it was just cute.
he showed her the button for menu.
you know the scrolling place that shows 
the times, stations and shows.
momma said,
"it's fun just watching this!"
she was serious.
it was cute, fun, 
and so sweet to see her appreciation.
we were glad to give her joy.


however, it's all because her 
other favorite son-in-love 
bought her the tv. 


she's blessed to have two favorites!
and we are blessed to have more days.
even the hard ones.








 

i only cried once...

when the winter holidays come
my days become a daze.
kids home, trips to grandparents,
eating, all the usual.

tiny bit of extra stress due to
snowy-icy roads, gimp arm,
elderly parents, and Christmas on Sunday.

BUT....
it was good. 

momma and her sister

my adorable great nephew

     

 joint effort bringing dinner to the care home.
15 of us celebrated together. 

 fun people

 scarey people

later in the day we expanded the party.

had some great instrumental musical talent.

sang Christmas hymns with other residents

and..

 

got to celebrate and enjoy more family.

my dads remaining sibling lives at the care home too,

as well as his wife and oldest daughter.

here's dad and my uncle.

also my aunts body and hand.

fyi, the other lady in red

with her head, is 

just an extra in this scene. 

: )

while singing carols, sitting beside my sweet momma,

looking across the room at my dad and his brother,

several of my cousins, their kids and grands,

the emotions had hit their max.

tears threatened.

tears escaped and were caught.

i hung on tight to my hubby's arm.

why?

besides the obvious reasons....

it's been many years since we shared Christmas

with dad's brothers family.

what a treat for me.

i made the tender sentimental journey

to Christmas's past. 

it just felt good and sad 

at the same time.

so... my uncles granddaughters fiancee'

is also a very talented pianist.

he played some beautiful compositions he's written.

mom and i could not see his fingers 

as he played, she leaned over to me and whispered

" those fingers.... can you imagine how fast they move." 

we also were treated to my uncles teenage granddaughter

and her self taught hula hooping routine. 

she can hula 40 at once.

also does some other fancy things.

 

and this was only part of the day...
more to come.
arentcha lucky?
 

love and joy come to you....

like you... busy days here.
finally making it to put up dads Christmas tree.

mission accomplished with the

 assistance of my bright eyed great nephew

we all stopped to see momma before decorating.

she was out visiting in the halls when we got there.

i knew it was a good day then.

me, momma, sister-bird

i have done a bit of baking, mess making

 

things are filling up in our home

 fridge is stuffed

  driveway filled

 a few presents by the tree

CHRISTMAS EVE:

a restful tender time spent at Mass

with my loving mom-in-love is always enjoyed.

i love the peacefulness of waiting. 

breathing in the beauty of lights, trees,

expectant faces.

joining in Christmas hymns...

"oh come all ye faithful"

when i sing it i'm challenged

to be among those faithful.

faithful to the Reason for the celebration.

may He find us all kneeling here

in thankfulness 

for the promise of heaven

a Joyous Christmas to you.

 

a man in love

my dad is a man in love.
he has been for over 60 years.

don't get me wrong,
it's not been a fairy-tale romance.
(they are human)
it's been and it is a committed life.
committed to loving, serving,
working hard, staying faithful,
raising kids, playing, laughing,
crying and being there 
"in sickness and in health." 

i remember their sweet embraces
as well as their not-so-sweet 'discussions'.

i know i've been blessed to be raised by
God loving parents,
by hard working parents,
fun-loving parents.


and now, for the past 4 years especially,
i've witnessed more love.
my poppa learned to cook,
do laundry, get better at house keeping,
grocery shopping. he has helped
mom shower, dress, and yes,
even basic bathroom needs. 
and he started at the young age of 78.
LOVE. the kind of committment
it takes to make a life together.


no wonder he wanted to keep her at home
as long as possible. he cried when we moved
her to the nursing home. 
(me too)
yet he goes in faithfully twice a day.
drives in the 10 miles one way to 
see the love of his life. 


(interesting because growing up
we were limited to the number of times
we could go to town.
once a week besides on sunday,
in the summer was it.) 


yesterday daddy called me
at 8:05 a.m.
"did i wake u?"
"no, i was up."
"okay, were you planning on coming
over here today to put up the christmas tree?"
" if we could get there."
"well you can't. there's still too much snow."
"okay."

" i'm going in to see maureen"


WHAT? 

it's this man in love.
we cannot possibly get to his farm due 
to snow, mud, etc.
but he can drive to town to see momma.


i just had to chuckle.


i called him last night.
"dad, how were the roads?"
"not good."
"but u made it in to see mom okay?"
" yes, two times."


he's still a man in love.

snow...yes

weather man's forecast is good so far.
well, we got the rain,
then the ice,
now the snow.
and always...the wind.

no school tomorrow..
extends the Christmas break by 1/2 a day.

i chatted w/both parents this evening.
dad was microwaving up some supper.
mom said..." oh...i am so stuffed."
i said she didn't have to eat. 
: )

ever since she began having them
use the full body lift, she's had more energy.
sort of.
usually her attitude is good, 
just weary and always concerned about daddy.

sister bird and i toured the new care home.
it will be lovely...
whenever it's completed. 
mom's hoping to not move in.

on a different side of my kid's family tree
let me share these adorable photos 
of brown-eyed-handsome-mans early 
childhood. 

Christmas 1962

my beautiful mom-in-love with

their 4 sons. 

can u pick out my hubby?

Christmas 1962,

and my charming dad -in-love 

with the boys.

i love old family photos.

TUESDAY UPDATE:
aka daddy, momma was weighed.
she has lost 14 pounds since moving
to the care home.
i am surprised because she's been 
eating much better than she was at the farm.
that's 14 pounds in 3 weeks.
i've seen her eat and figured
she might be picking up weight.

okay, it is and it isn't puzzling
considering what her body is battling.


sigh...


SNOW REPORT;
 we have 4-6 inches
and daddy thinks he has around a foot.
it's hard to measure when it drifts and blows so.


we are all safe, warm and thankful for it.

Christmas's Past

waaaay past.
like in the 1960's before many of you were born.

Christmas 1965. Momma with her new tea kettle

and dishwasher!

Me with a barbie or two in my pocket and 

bubble bath in my hand. The bottle had 

a dolls head with a furry collar. 

Very snazzy.

I'm probably wearing a new robe too. 

 Christmas 1962

My brother, sister and I.

this is when the Christmas tree 

was in the dining room. 

Same year, 1962. It's the first 

Christmas in our new house.

I think these must have been our 

Santa gifts. 

I am 4, my sister almost 11, and brother 8.

Christmas 1968

My sister has her hair rolled up 

in recycled orange juice cans.

Don't you love that old tree with the 

tinsel hanging straight down?

Mom was VERY picky about that.

When we thought she wasn't looking we 

would toss it on...but

you know mom's and those extra eyes!!

we would get growled at then. 

here's Daddy that year. 

and Momma. We always

had a seasonal centerpiece.

even if it was a slab of styrofoam

with an elf and fake greenery added.

we thought it was lovely.

 Christmas 1980

I recently found this and love it.

Christmas is coming....

yesterday momma requested a holiday sweatshirt.
interesting because until now she's been a bit
scroogie towards christmas. 
didn't want the music playing etc.
10 days away to get in the holiday mind frame?
not bad.


i got her a winter one, snowman, etc.
will be interesting to see if 
today she still wants it.


it's hard for her to make up her mind.
uncertainty is a fairly constant companion
for these days.
chalk another one up for the brain tumors.


she knows us, 
remembers our phone numbers, 
because she calls us. 
what she had for a meal?
or who or if someone stopped by?
that's a bit fuzzy for her.
BUT...
she has no pain.
hallelujah!!!

am gathering up sugar and spices.
gonna do a bit of baking,
candy making with my sister.
at the farm. 
even gonna spend the night to
give daddy a bit of company for an evening
and breakfast. 
you know..liven up the house..
jump on the beds, drain the hot water heater with
long showers, leave all the lights on, get stuff out,
make a mess.... the usual kid stuff. 
: )


then tomorrow is a Christmas party
at the care home. 
in case momma feels like going we'll be there.


and i just gotta tell ya....
GOD HEARS YOUR PETITIONS.
for a few days now
my broken heart has mellowed,
the waterfall of tears has ceased
and the "sun is shining today."


i've been humming this praise chorus
'the joy of the Lord is my strength"

then began to wonder
what is the joy of the Lord?