my momma loved

all my life my mom had flowers growing.
we planted endless packages of zinnias, marigolds,
cockscomb, bachelor buttons  and much more.
the bulbs or tubers of tulips, daffodils, iris, poppies.
her rose gardens, daisy beds, ....

mom shared this love with our neighbor on the hill, gertrude.
it was not unusual for them to call each other to go and 
see what new thing they had blooming in their gardens.


mom also entered her flowers in the county fair,
and floral arrangements. both won her blue and purple 
ribbons for many years. 


she encouraged me to enter too.
and then she began to help me make arrangements 
to enter. I remember once using a low blue bowl, 
one she favored, and made an arrangement from
things in her garden. with her gentle guidance
and love, i got a purple ribbon. 
i always felt like she deserved it more than me. 


so many years later when i began working in flower 
shops, getting paid to make what my momma taught me...
well i have always felt blessed. 
and it was fun to call her up and tell her about the
colors of roses, how many things i got done, or
how many hours i worked on those "floral holidays."
she was faithful to encourage my creativity for certain,
but also compassionate and caring like only a mom
is. you know she's the biggest supporter of you,
she wants you to do well, do your best, and yet
always the reminder to 'take care of yourself'.
'sit down before you get too weary'.
and of course.." they don't pay you enough!"
she wasn't just my mom...she was my friend.

yesterday sister bird sent me a text that started out
" have a good day at work today."
BAM!!!
it hit right in my heart.
she was sending me love ...
just like mom.
i liked it, honest...
but oh how my heart has a funny way of expressing that.


good ole' grief burst. stabs you in the middle of your heart.
i know these things happen, this isn't my first time
to mourn dear loved ones. 
i just was caught unaware that valentines day
would hit me like this.
no phone call to momma on my way to or from work
telling her about the gorgeous flowers, 
the number of hours on my feet, 
the more flowers and hours to go.
hence the prayer plea to facebook friends.
the water proof mascara, box of puffs,
and lots of water to drink.
God heard your pleas, He kept me from floor-weeping
at work, and sent a compassionate co-worker who 
mothered me just enough to make me smile. 

today is exactly one month since momma gave
Jesus a hug... face to face. 
whew...
we didn't know you were leaving THAT day.
you snuck out of the room on us
and we were right there, barely even aware of it.
literally hours before you had said "not yet".
how quickly it became "yet".
those last hours were very hard on you.
those last days, even weeks you just weren't quite
yourself. 
but we loved knowing we could call you,
touch you, maybe get a smile.


i know heaven is where you deserve to be,
and i know we were all blessed beyond measure
to be loved by you.
it doesn't stop me from missing you, ever.


God, give her a huge bouquet of spring flowers from me
and a tender hug. And thanks for letting us have her 
all the years you did. She loved us very well.