dust bowl days

last saturday and yesterday, tuesday were horrid.
the wind was excessive 40-60 mph winds and gusts.
in a land that is already beyond dry....this is a bad combination.

bird and i were at the farm doing stuff,
but dusting was not among it. 
that would have been useless.
honest to pete, the visibility was at times
less than 1/4th mile. 
we would look out the windows and it was 
brownish. could not see the sun due to the dirt.

and we both kept thinking...
"glad momma doesn't have to see this."

it's scarey to ponder future-wise.
if our little piece of America does not
get sufficient moisture soon my concern 
is a return to the dirty 30's. 
those were real.
it did happen.

as we headed home through the hills
yesterday we passed a field that has been 
blowing all winter. there was so much dirt that 
had sifted across the road it look like snow drifts.
and only half of the road was drive-able. 
plus still nearly impossible to see due to 
blowing dirt. 
last year dad participated in a session/discussion with
dust bowl survivors on whether the crp 
government programs were worth it.
was all that land that's been put into grass making a 
difference? 
yes, it is.
but we need rain, snow any type of moisture.

toss us in to your prayers please.
thanks.  

what language do you speak?

dear ole' dad called me this morning at
8:18 a.m. 
me " hi dad!"
him, "hi. hey i was wondering what day is today?" 
"saturday"
"saturday the what?"
"let me check a calendar. ..the 25th."
 "okay"
dad pauses then asks,

"if i was to write the date how would it look?
how would 2012 look?"
 i pause and wonder what he's writing?


"well pops, if you were to write it on a check  it 
could be like this two dash twenty five dash one two." 


i hear him trying to write this down.
eventually he tells me
"well...i gotta write it on that, that, ....thing....
to take to town today."


fortunately i speak dad-ese
and even more fortuitous i can remember
our conversation from the day before!
 "the prescription?"
"yes."
"okay. they would probably fill it in for you,
and that would be fine."

in january he had a urology checkup.
doc knew the old 'script was getting nearly empty.
he gave us a new one to turn in, just didn't date it.
told us to do so when dad needed it filled.
well...........
we ALL forgot about that prescription.
dad and sister-bird took the bottle in to 
get it refilled, and pharmacy had been trying to
contact the doc for new 'script.
(sister hadn't looked at the bottle so didn't 
realize which one it was)
yesterday when dad is telling me he still can't get it filled
i begin to think.
waaaaay back in the dusty hallways of my brain is 
a small flame flickering.
something about an un-dated prescription.

after some hunting and seeking dad finds the 'script
right where he puts all important doc info...
on his dresser.
we discuss what the docs name is, how it's spelled,
.....and he finds it. 
which has led us to this mornings call.

 fyi....
yes we KNOW dad cannot live by himself .
my brother lives right next door.  


mom used to say to us,
"now take care of dad. oh... i know you will."
and sometimes towards the end of her earthly life
"i'm sorry to leave. i'm sorry to leave you with having 
to take care of dad."

we always assured her it was fine.
we were capable, we could do it.

often in the past 6 weeks sister-bird
and i have said..." wish mom was here."
"if mom was here we could ask her...."
and sometimes
"thanks a lot mom."

but we are becoming more fluent in dad-ese
and de-coding whatever is the perplexing thing.

plus we are amazed what he does remember.
things from long ago. they will be clear as can be.
however....
last saturday when i phone chatted w/dad
i mentioned the next day was sunday.
dad said " i hope i remember that tomorrow."
"i'll call you in the morning"
"okay."
and so i did.

"good morning dad. it's sunday. are you getting ready
for church?"
" no..... i took a nap..... 
it's a good thing you called and woke me up. 
i thought it was sunday, but i wasn't quite sure."
okay.
 
as to how dads shoulder is?
aka pops, not better.
but he did drive to town so guessing that's do-able.
i'll go visit him on monday and see for myself.

how am i doing 6 weeks since mom's been gone?
well yesterday we went to a funeral for a friend
whose dad had died. 
i told brown-eyed-handsome-man
"i've not cried in a week. i don't know how 
i will do today." 
sure enough, we got there, 
i hugged my favorite mom-in-love,
sat down and the tears trickled out. 
the service hadn't even started!
i formed a plan to leave if necessary,
but managed to just weep quietly at times.
and it's not like i was the only one, 
it was a funeral after all.
i hurt for my friend and his family.
i hurt for myself.

this is how it goes.

however tonight brown-eyed-handsome-man
and i are doing a fun thing.
bill cosby is in the area and we have tickets.

i hope to laugh, laugh, and laugh again. 
i won't even care if tears run down my face 
in laughter. 

and yes, tomorrow morning i will make a phone call
"good morning dad! its sunday. you can go to church." 

and then i will finish getting ready and go 
speak to The Man who understands any language.
especially dad-ese.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 


 
 

yes you can...

...have an MRI at 7 p.m.
just in case you wondered, it's possible
even in small town America.

my stubborn dad decided to do some 
ditch digging a week ago...
unfortunately his shoulders weren't in favor of that.
they let him know by going on strike.
yup...
just didn't work.
his "good" one became the BAD one. 
he barely drove  himself to church, or for 
that matter, got himself dressed.

sister-bird, brother and i had a pow-wow on sunday
determining "what do we do with dad".
since we all share this same shoulder/rotator-cuff-
joy we knew a steroid shot would possibly help.
however, dad's physician won't give them
and dear sweet determined dad DID NOT
want to make the 4 hr drive to the city
to see the specialist.
well... my physician does the shots.
we jumped through lots of hoops.
filled out tons of paper work.
sister and dad drove to my home
2 days in a row. 
dad got xrays, then doc said he needed an MRI.


remember the small town reference and tell your
brain the modern conveniences of city stuff is limited here.
( i.e. an MRI machine)
we were blessed to have the MRI van visiting later that day, 
so we got dad on the schedule and drove back to my 
home for the 2 hr wait. 
which turned in to a longer wait, and it was
7pm. when dad finally got his MRI.

and guess what?
the shot giving doc had gone home.
that resulted in
another hour drive to my house for dad 
and sister bird.

just to add excitement to the day 
they got a flat tire, and it became apparent
3 blocks from my home. 
can i get a "YEAH GOD!" here.
thank you.

here we are 3-shoulder-limited people 
needing to change a tire.
i call a great friend who comes and rescues
us, finishing what we started.
did i mention dad is type A and 
can't wait for help?
toss in his Parkinson's dementia
and its a fun mix.

regardless, we got to docs office 
and waited way too long..
but WE GOT DAD SHOT.! 
tee hee hee....
that is, his shoulder.  


now to see if this will make enough 
of a difference.
otherwise we just aren't sure how he's gonna
continue to live with out more assistance.


however, God's tender care has been so evident 
in the past two days, we'll just keep trusting for 
it to continue. 


what did you do for fun this week?
 

backyard beauties

while finishing up breakfast i realized i hadn't been 
dining alone.
out my big dining room window was a big bird
madly digging away. head down, beak busy,
grass flying. head up, swallow, head back down.
hop, hop, hop,
then all over again.
it was rather woodpecker-looking and acting.
keeping my fingers crossed
i went to get my uncle ernies old heavy binoculars,
hoping busy beak would still be there. 
yeah, it was. so i got enough of a look to attempt
to identify it. 
i should be able to right? 
i mean i have 3 bird books. 

well....
the final conclusion is.... perhaps
a Northern Flicker.
okay a flicker of some sort. 

and of course once busy-beak-flicker
realized i was spying, off it flew.

since i wasn't finished enjoying my visitors,
i watched the other diners. several sparrows,
and the finches with their coats of red. 

lovely. 
this is one of those times i would have 
called mom and said.." guess what i saw today."
but you know... i think she already knows.
i like to think she and God sent him for me. 
thanks you two.  

"oh there's sun shine, blessed sun shine!

when the peaceful happy moments roll.
when Jesus shows His smiling face
there is sunshine in my soul."

last week's devotionals talked of praying the hymns.
i've done that before and enjoy it.

today i am praising with the hymns.
yes there is literally sunshine outside.
50 degrees and it feels good.
i am solar powered and my batteries
were very low.
i am also very thankful for the son shine
in my heart today.
it's doesn't feel broken and weary.
and i'm appreciating the joy today.

also feeling 'normal'...
have done a bit of cleaning-out cupboards,
got a good progress report with my shoulder
and the home therapy, and i wanted to
go out for lunch with brown-eyed-handsome-man.
so we did. he was happy to be so accommodating.
(wow! lots of double consonants in that word)

i've talked with our kids in the past 24 hours,
get to have lunch tomorrow with my breast buddies,
and i have you friends.
amen.
 






 
 

my momma loved

all my life my mom had flowers growing.
we planted endless packages of zinnias, marigolds,
cockscomb, bachelor buttons  and much more.
the bulbs or tubers of tulips, daffodils, iris, poppies.
her rose gardens, daisy beds, ....

mom shared this love with our neighbor on the hill, gertrude.
it was not unusual for them to call each other to go and 
see what new thing they had blooming in their gardens.


mom also entered her flowers in the county fair,
and floral arrangements. both won her blue and purple 
ribbons for many years. 


she encouraged me to enter too.
and then she began to help me make arrangements 
to enter. I remember once using a low blue bowl, 
one she favored, and made an arrangement from
things in her garden. with her gentle guidance
and love, i got a purple ribbon. 
i always felt like she deserved it more than me. 


so many years later when i began working in flower 
shops, getting paid to make what my momma taught me...
well i have always felt blessed. 
and it was fun to call her up and tell her about the
colors of roses, how many things i got done, or
how many hours i worked on those "floral holidays."
she was faithful to encourage my creativity for certain,
but also compassionate and caring like only a mom
is. you know she's the biggest supporter of you,
she wants you to do well, do your best, and yet
always the reminder to 'take care of yourself'.
'sit down before you get too weary'.
and of course.." they don't pay you enough!"
she wasn't just my mom...she was my friend.

yesterday sister bird sent me a text that started out
" have a good day at work today."
BAM!!!
it hit right in my heart.
she was sending me love ...
just like mom.
i liked it, honest...
but oh how my heart has a funny way of expressing that.


good ole' grief burst. stabs you in the middle of your heart.
i know these things happen, this isn't my first time
to mourn dear loved ones. 
i just was caught unaware that valentines day
would hit me like this.
no phone call to momma on my way to or from work
telling her about the gorgeous flowers, 
the number of hours on my feet, 
the more flowers and hours to go.
hence the prayer plea to facebook friends.
the water proof mascara, box of puffs,
and lots of water to drink.
God heard your pleas, He kept me from floor-weeping
at work, and sent a compassionate co-worker who 
mothered me just enough to make me smile. 

today is exactly one month since momma gave
Jesus a hug... face to face. 
whew...
we didn't know you were leaving THAT day.
you snuck out of the room on us
and we were right there, barely even aware of it.
literally hours before you had said "not yet".
how quickly it became "yet".
those last hours were very hard on you.
those last days, even weeks you just weren't quite
yourself. 
but we loved knowing we could call you,
touch you, maybe get a smile.


i know heaven is where you deserve to be,
and i know we were all blessed beyond measure
to be loved by you.
it doesn't stop me from missing you, ever.


God, give her a huge bouquet of spring flowers from me
and a tender hug. And thanks for letting us have her 
all the years you did. She loved us very well.

yesterday we had a party

brown-eyed-handsome-man and i drove to the farm.
we were joined by sister bird and her hunter hubby,
their attorney son, and our brother.
it was dad's 83rd birthday so we celebrated.
since he loves fried chicken, legs especially,
and mashed potatoes and gravy it was just easier
to stop at KFC on the way.

sister bird made the cake.
it's very famous in our family...and was always
brought to family gatherings by the baker,
one of dad's sisters...maudie.
so now of course it is officially
"aunt maudies chocolate cake."

it is VERY  tasty. wish you all could have had some.
there wasn't much left after we all had seconds.
: )

earlier in the week i called him to say we would 
be partying at his home, just in case he might have plans. :)
he asked me...
"should i dust?"
i chuckled..." well you can if you want. or we can write
greetings in it."
the next day bird called him.
they discussed him dusting.
on my way to work friday i called 
my birthday greetings in to dad.
then i asked
" did you dust?"
"no. but i might yet."


and so did he dust?
i have no idea...i forgot to look.


he did enjoy family being there and the cards.
we giggled about the one the post office had mangled,
and his hoops and yoyo singing card. 

we reminisced about the corn cob jelly the folks 
used to make and the rose petal jelly.
it was made with the old fashioned yellow roses.
dad said.." you had to get them eaaarlly in the morning, 
when they smelled the best." 


my sister, brother and i went back to those
sweet days of memory and pulled a few more 
stories out. it was a good time. 
we talked of sleeping next door at our
grandmas house. who slept with her when.
they both remembered sleeping in the front bedroom
during the winter when you could look out the door into
the living room and see the big old gas furnace,
watch the fire patterns dancing on the walls,
and listen to the lullaby of old stove sounds.
a memory of comfort for certain.
brother even remembers sleeping with our 
uncle ernie in his bed, just because he could,
and has wondered many years since just 
exactly what that old bachelor uncle thought of that.
we giggled as we pondered that thought. 

we were blessed with a rich childhood.
many times of fun with dad's family
and adventures with our cousins. 


here's our folks in 1990 celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary with an
Alaskan cruise. 

the folks in 1949 before they were married

and here's the birthday boy with his cake from yesterday..

thanks, sandy, for the phone call. 
i know dad was pleased.
we talked about your daddy and the
years of combined parties too.


and then we all signed birthday cards for life long
friends of our folks. they sent dad a card and
he wanted to send them one.
but...we couldn't remember when 
their birthday's were. just when i was ready to 
call a daughter of theirs i got an idea that i
pitched to my poppa..
"well dad, you could go out to the cemetery and look
on their headstone for the dates."
(they have preplanned obviously)


dad was quiet and said
"that's what i thought i would do. i'll stop by ours, 
then drive over to their spot." 
"good idea pops."


and he did.
not only are we fun 
we are resourceful.