i lost my slippers, and it wasn't even midnight.

waking up too early this morning,
stretching my feet to find their preferred
fuzzy warmth, and i came up empty-footed.
WHAT?
i try to be intentional about my bedside slippers.
where did i leave them now? 
sleep infused brain does a mental search 
of last evening at home.

of last evening at home?
i wasn't home.
it was nearly bedtime when i got home.

and then i remembered where
my slippers moved to.
they are resting on my momma's 
very swollen feeties. 
those leopard-spotted-fuzzy-
Christmas 2010-gifted slippers
have moved up in the world.

our youngest daughter gave them
to me. i know she won't mind me
sharing them with her beloved grandma.

momma's been retaining fluid
since last saturday, possibly.
socks were too constricting.
knowing my slippers are wide,
they are loose on me, 
they might work for momma.


as soon as the cna's saw them
there was rejoicing in the room.
" these will work great!
we've not had anything to protect her feet."


and they do.


momma had a bit of drama yesterday too.
that gave dad a bit of terror,
but we all lived to tell about it.


she had another panic attack.
breathing gets labored, chest hurts.
i think this time her vitals were fine,
so possibly this was just a panic attack.


i had been checking with various staff for the 
much needed diuretic and where was it? 
could i go get it rather than 
wait on the pharmacy to deliver?
yes.


back in momma's room i see she is not doing too good.
an aide is there checking some vital, 
mom is requesting to be in bed. 
knowing her labored breathing
is in part due to the excess water
i hope to hurry with the diuretic.
i said to daddy,
"i'm going to go and get the diuretic.
we've got to get this water off,
it will help with the breathing.
you stay here, i'll be right back."


he crumpled.
his chin shook, eyes watered.
oh poppa.
i gave him a hug and he asked
" are you going to the farm for it?"

"no daddy, just down the street.
i have to get it soon pops. the aides
are here. mom will be ok."


he shakes his head, takes a breath, 
calms a bit and half-heartedly agrees.
i hustle out the door,
stopping by to tell the director of nurses
"mom is having another panic attack,
daddy is falling apart. can you go check on him 
while i get the meds?"


she's on it like lightening. 


i call sister-bird,
update her as i zip across town.
we needed her praying. she did.


once i'm back, it's like a relay race
as i pass  the diuretic to the nurse.
she's on the move, i'm on the move
and she takes the hand-off with grace!
daddy's sitting in dining room sipping a soda,
and calmer. he said they kicked him out of the room.


the rooms are small and once you get 3 or 4 aides 
and the necessary moving equipment, that's how it goes.


we get the all clear from my relay partner soon, 
and find momma resting in her bed.
breathing is better already. 


there's a bit of irony here.
she is semi-reclined in her bed.
pretty much the same angle she
had been at in her recliner?! 
oh well.
BUT, she is definitely better
hallelujah!


eventually daddy's head begins to
droop since he's now in the recliner.
we encourage him to put his feet up and rest.
we got no argument.
momma and i chat.
she's telling me the drugs she was given.
" one diuretic and 2 pain pills."
?????
back i go to the nurses desk with questions.
no, it was 1 diuretic, 1 potassium,1 pain pill, 
1 dose of ativan, and a partridge in a pear tree.
humor gets me through
these kinds of daze.

while dad sleeps mom and i have a nice visit.
she is relatively clear minded and 
we discuss some important things.
she cannot say enough words of praise
for the aides who lovingly care for her.


i've seen them, i know it's true.
in fact the 2 helping her had tears
in their eyes as they ministered to my momma.
i guess even the cleaning lady was ready
to slip in to gloves to help out...
and she's not even trained!

before they shift change last evening
one of those very sweet girls came by
to tell us " the aides have made a notebook 
and we are writing in there how to help you
when this happens. what u like best. what 
works for you. we're doing it for all the residents."
holey moley!
give these aides a raise!!!


i stayed, going out to supper with my dad
and brother. momma was subdued, weary, and 
a bit spacey when we got back. 
it was time for me to go home.
daddy told me" i'm glad you were here today."
mom agreed. 
i replied, "God had me 
where He needed me at the right time."
they agreed.  


'and to all a good night.'