momma speaks

here's the scene; 
very quiet care home room,
voices from other residents in the hall.
me, dad, mom, hanging out in her room.
mom is resting in her bed, eyes closed.
and she speaks.
mom " i think she's ready."
long pause
me "who is ready?"
and this is repeated a few more times.
mom, "I think she's ready for her continuing life"
once again, it's repeated.


now i'm puzzling over who "she " is.
mom? or the lady who's voice we hear in the hall,
so i ask her.
mom replied, " could be."
me, "or you"
quiet
mom, " i think she's ready."
pause, then she grimaces and i wonder if she has pain.


several minutes pass then she speaks again
"no, i don't think she is."


so i ask the who and ready for what?
mom doesn't answer that. 
i wait awhile longer and say
"we no longer hear the lady in the hall."
mom, "no, we don't."
pause for minutes.
mom, " i wish she was ready. I really do."
then she has quiet movements, her hands
moving about the covers on her chest. 
mom, "no..... she's not."
me, " okay she doesn't have to be."
mom, "no she doesn't."


now my mind has been jumping all over this 
planet and universe with questions and thoughts.


a song about heaven comes to mind and i begin
to quietly hum it. mom's senses are heightened 
tremendously so she hears me. smiles sweetly "umhum"
long pause,
mom, "she's not ready to go home."
me,  "who's telling her that?"
mom, "she is."


restlessness continues, hands up to the chest,
back down. 
daddy is dozing in the chair so i don't know if
he heard any of that. 


as we move about the room, not making
a sound, mom asks,"who was that?"
earlier my arm was close to her face,
"oh that smells nice".
musta been my lotion.


she was alone when i arrived.
i watched her chest for breaths.
they are slow, often long pauses,
but she's breathing.
i take a step in the room,
her eyes open.
"hello daugh.."
eyes close.
"hi, momma."

she adjusts her hat over the right ear.
i try to assist. that's fine. 
we get it fixed right.
she goes back to where ever she had been.
i sit down, am reading.
she speaks,
"hatzok?"
"what"
then firmer, clearer,
"hats okay?"
"yes."


i marvel at her and can see her switching between
earthly time and heavenly time. 
it's very apparent to me. 
her heavenly time has a soft gentle breeze voice
that sounds sweet, peaceful.
the earthly voice is stronger, deeper, and sometimes
fearful-ish.


this whole process leaves me open mouthed 
in amazement. i cannot get enough of it.
no sadness on my part.
just thankfulness to be witnessing it all.
just like the process of being born takes awhile
the process of dying does too. 
anyway it is for my momma. 


doctor and therapy appointments 
are keeping me busy today.
but i will go back tomorrow.
stay until i feel i can or want to leave.


daddy told me about lunch time today
momma wanted to get out of bed.
okay...why not?
her sister should be visiting today, too.


join me in celebrating this event.
sister-bird and i view it that way 
and feel blessed to participate as little as we can.


i took this pic of my folks last night.